Radiating Resistance for Deep Healing

Why do we need to find ways to radiate resilience in our lives?

Trauma, neglect, abuse, stress, shocking events, or even just living in this chaotic world can affect us negatively in so many ways. We recognize that even good stress is still stress (like buying a home, or getting a new job), and we want to deal with any and all stress as effectively as we can. We want to develop tools to add resilience into our natural repertoire of behaviors, thoughts and feelings, so that we can navigate life well, meeting each moment with awareness, letting our resilience practices protect us and heal us.

The stresses can be related to any and all areas of our lives: the psychological, emotional, physical, mental, community/relational, and spiritual realms. When we are in crisis or  experiencing chronic or acute stresses of any sort, our resiliency tool kit can help us live with much less struggle, with much more Grace, and with more discernment about which of our struggles we can release or let go.

We have used resiliency tools all of our lives even if we don’t use that term. However, sometimes we get stuck in patterns of behavior that become repetitive and used so often that those same behaviors can begin causing us problems themselves. That’s why we want a variety of tools to choose from.

The Tree of Life Mystery School’s (TOLMS’s) first Liberation Retreat on 8/28/2020 offered us a chance to think about the ways we can prompt our resiliency behaviors to become even more healthy and healing. Here are 12 of my favorite ways to deal with life’s difficulties, whenever I feel overwhelmed or highly distressed. One of our goals is not only to manage stress but also to release bodily and emotional constrictions and tenseness:

1. Walk regularly or at least when times are hard, and/or practice any other type of exercise.
2. Hang out with, or pet a pet, which can create excellent de-stressing hormones, and be fun and calming at the same time.
3. Cuddle with my husband unless he is the one causing me stress!
4. Talk with a friend, a therapist, a coach, or a family member who is safe and non-judgmental, someone who listens well and doesn’t give too much advice, someone who can co-create a safe holding space.
5. Do yoga, breathwork, other breathing techniques, or relaxation exercises. Massages are magnificent when possible!
6. Lie down on the floor or bed and call upon my spirit guides to help me with whatever is going on. Starting with deep breaths, eyes closed, and meditating. Some people also pray or speak with the Divine.
7. Write, freely associating. When I write, I am able to hear myself better. Usually writing helps me not only release some of the tension but also understand at some point what is happening.
8. Watch movies or TV series that help me focus on something else for the moment, distracting myself for awhile.
9. Cry, scream, or wail in a safe place.
10. Go outdoors, listening to birds, looking at wildlife, the sky, trees and so many wonders of the world.
11. Take a Time Out. Withdraw and find a safe and comforting space to be alone - and be.
12. Shake. Part of grounding, clearing and creating protection around ourselves involves letting go of negative energies within us, or that we have absorbed or taken on. We let our bodies shake off as much of this negative energy as we can. Then, protect ourselves with a bubble of color as we move on.

Remember that every one is unique, so whatever works for me may not work for you. Challenge yourself to mix up your tools every now and then.

Please also stay present and in a state of wonder. Be curious about life. Forgiving myself for my mistakes and not judging myself harshly are some of my major tasks in life. What are yours?

Most of all, remember to breathe deeply, slowing down your breath, and listening….

Barbara Sanders, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, a writer, and an activist.  She is also a Catalyzing Crone within the elder group of TOLMS.

BarbaraSandersLCSW@gmail.com

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