Words Matter: On Violence with sports and with Trump

"Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest, and let the spirits fly in and out." Rumi

Sitting on my couch with a cold on New Year’s Eve 2016, playing Candy Crush Soda Pop (level 337 - Oh, that sticky bubblegum!), I was stunned when a TV sports announcer during the Peach Bowl’s Alabama/Washington game said, “And, put in the dagger!” He soon talked about “penetration” as if the football game was an exercise of war with flanks penetrating the enemy. Words matter. Roll Tide.

Other frequently used sports’ words: Attack, Ambush, Aggressor, Assault, Battle, Brutal, Capture, Chaos, Charge, Clash, Combat, Command, Confrontation, Concussion, Conquer, Control, Counterattack, Crash, Damage, Defense, Demolish, Destroy, Devastate, Dominate.  And those are only the A through D’s!

I began thinking about masculinity and violence: “Studies on gender and sports media find that sports commentary reinforces perceptions of ‘violent masculinity.’ By praising athletes who continue to play while injured, and by using language of conflict and war to describe action, sports commentary reinforces violence and aggression as exciting and rewarding behaviour….[reinforcing]the social attitude that violence and aggression are normal and natural expressions of masculine identity” (http://mediasmarts.ca/gender-representation/men-and-masculinity/masculinity-and-sports-media).

Violent, visual imagery affects not only children but us all. We become numb, traumatized, and/or desensitized when watching sports, news, violent video games and movies. Violence is all around us.

Throughout 2016, we also heard our President-elect using violent imagery as a regular talking point, a punch line, even a campaign strategy. Regarding Hillary: “If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks… Although the Second Amendment people — maybe there is, I don’t know,” implying that some voters might assassinate Hillary if not “lock her up,” another favorite campaign slogan.

Dan Gross, president of the Brady Campaign and Center to Prevent Gun Violence said Trump’s statement was “repulsive — literally using the Second Amendment as cover to encourage people to kill someone with whom they disagree.”  Trump has called Mexicans rapists and just as hideous, he has bragged that he grabs women he doesn’t know by the genitals, using the slang word for cat.  Our President-elect brags about sexual assault, and offers troubling terms at the drop of a tweet.

Pope Francis speaking to U.S. Congress:  “All of us are quite aware of, and deeply worried by the disturbing social and political situation of the world today… a place of violent conflict, hatred and brutal atrocities… We know that in the attempt to be freed of the enemy without, we can be tempted to feed the enemy within… Our response must instead be one of hope and healing, of peace and justice” (https://www.paulist.org/paulist-fathers-statement-on-moral-issues-in-the-2016-presidential-election/#sthash.T81M0uWh.dpuf).

Words matter, and Americans too frequently live in a world described in hyper-masculine, violent verbiage. It is time for all of us to speak instead about the values of nonviolence, peace and justice, and act accordingly.

I am voting out of fear and anger, but also with hope

"Things never go so well that one should have no fear, and never so ill that one should have no hope."

  Turkish Proverb

 

My favorite candidate did not get nominated for the presidency of the United States although he would have been the best candidate by far. Bernie Sanders should be the Democratic presidential candidate, but since he isn’t, I am faced with a difficult decision. Honestly, I do not like my choices.
For a long time, I have explored voting for a third-party candidate, but I believe that this election is too risky for such a decision. Please don’t split the vote because none of us can afford for Donald Trump to become President. 

I am voting for Hillary Clinton, not because she is a great candidate but because she supports the Democrat’s most progressive platform in the history of the U.S. She promises to deal with wealth and income inequality, the reality of climate change, the need for immigration reform, and decreasing tax breaks for the top 2%. She also wants to improve the health care system and decrease the high prices charged by insurance and pharmaceutical companies. Even though Hillary is too hawkish for me, she knows foreign policy backwards and forwards, and we need a smart President who knows how to work with all world leaders, not just with those who are power hungry and dictatorial. 

The fear and anger I feel are related to Donald’s being a despicable, menacing and dangerous candidate, who attacks almost everyone while using vile language not fit for kids or adults. Even before the recent video of his degradation of women as objects for his assaults, he has appealed to a huge segment of the American people many of whom are xenophobic, sexist, racist, and classist. They scare me. Donald says that he will improve his followers’ lives for the better whereas my guess is that he would do just the opposite. Giving this man the power to blow up the world is no small matter. 

Donald’s supporters are also angry and fearful, mostly white men losing their patriarchal power, worrying that women, people of color, and immigrants will become our future leaders. The future is now. 

We live in an oligarchy, where those elected do not represent their constituents but are obliged to bend over to their Big Money donors. Once we change the corrupt campaign finance system, then perhaps all people will be able to vote for a President of the people, by the people and for the people. 

Hillary Clinton has worked as a public servant most of her life. She wants to reduce poverty, feed hungry children, and face the realities of racism. Because of Donald’s horrific rhetoric and nasty character, Republicans are running away from him in hoards. My hope is that either the Senate and/or the House of Representatives will soon have a democratic majority assisting Hillary in carrying out their platform. 

I’m with her, because of the other current candidates, she is the only candidate who can bring rational, healthy and reasonable change to our country. Vote for Hillary!

The Militarization of Nashville Police: who are we trying to keep safe?

"If it were not for hope the heart would break."

 John Ray

The Metro Council voted unanimously on September 6, 2016, to provide $1 million to Nashville police for new military-style armor, flack jackets and helmets. Of course, we want our police to be safe if events unfold in Nashville like they have in so many other places. 

At the same time we are also concerned about the “militarization” of the Nashville police. What message are we sending to our citizens and how do we provide the best protection and safety for not only police officers but for all of our citizens? 

The police may be seen as preparing for a gun battle that may never happen, much like our highly armed United States military attempts to illustrate to the world that we can withstand any amount of force by spending billions of our dollars on the military. More recently, the U.S. has entered other countries, intervening in their local difficulties. Some think this is the way to protect our country against terrorists. But, when do we become active terrorists toward not only other countries but toward our own citizens? Violence can beget violence. 

The Council’s vote on this measure may be only a first step toward buying other military machines that many states proudly sport.



What kind of message does this send our children and grandchildren when the police dress in this new armor for all sorts of public events? Battle gear sends a strong message that we are assuming there will be violence even though some believe that these visuals will decrease violence.
Police are here to protect and serve. Instead we will see them ready for war. How many more black and brown children and adults will be killed as a result? 

Black Lives Matter states that “militarized weaponry... will only widen the racial divide and create massive distrust of police...” (https://campaigns.organizefor.org/petitions/stop- legislation-to-militarize-nashville-police?bucket=) Why use this money in this way? 

The ACLU states that: “Sending a heavily armed team of officers to perform ‘normal’ police work can dangerously escalate situations that need never have involved violence... [they] found that SWAT teams, which were originally devised as special responders for emergency situations, are deployed for drug searches more than they are for all other purposes...” (https://www.aclu.org/ issues/criminal-law-reform/reforming-police-practices/police-militarization) Let’s return to a more collaborative, less dangerous style of policing. 

After the recent Metro Council meeting, WPLN reported that Black Lives Matter protesters sported signs with, “Where is my jacket?” How will we protect our citizens from our militarized police? 

The Mayor and the Metro Council may be trying to make excellent decisions for the community to improve Nashville’s health and well-being. But, let’s not fool ourselves that while we are trying to prevent violence, we may actually be promoting more violence instead of de-escalating highly tense and potentially tragic situations.

As the current reporting of a tragedy unfolds... and Open Carry laws

“Shots fired! Cops down!”

Baton Rouge is unfolding as I write this (07/17/2016).  One shooter has been killed.  The Republican National Convention is coming up and police are asking Ohio’s governor to suspend the open carry law during the convention.

Why not suspend open and concealed carry laws everywhere for all civilians and not just for some who seem more important than others? 

At the beginning of this Baton Rouge event, several TV newscasters implied that this was a racial attack, an ambush on police.  As the day unfolded, we found that perhaps this wasn’t racially motivated like in Dallas with one black shooter targeting cops. Why suspect this was racial at the start?  Trauma does that to us: distorts our vision, brings up primitive and life threatening rage and fear. We lash out toward those different from us.

I think anyone openly carrying a firearm should assume they are risking their own lives not just those of others.  But, if you are white and carry, chances are you will not be shot.  Just black and brown men might be, right? 

We seem to think that certain people are more important, better than others.  Politicians, police and delegates better than innocent, little children?

Some may believe they need to carry weapons to shoot the bad guys when there are very few ways most people can ascertain who is right or wrong, good or bad.

I am appalled and amazed by legislatures, the NRA, politicians and voters who think open and/or concealed carry is a good idea.  Maybe they just want to return to the good ole days when cowboys waved pistols at each other (at least, on TV), resolving conflicts with shootouts.  Especially when those Injuns showed up after we stole their land. It seemed clear then who was good or bad.

But, now civilians carry military weapons that can destroy large numbers in moments.

Clearly, if you have white skin, you must be good.  If your skin is dark, you might be bad, or at least most of you are.  Oh, yes, there may be some good ones out there but since we can’t tell, we need to judge people by how they look, right? A whole bunch of Americans seem to think that we better keep this nation white, as does one presidential candidate.

Beware Americans, beware.  For those who want citizens to keep carrying military-styled weapons, what has happened to your brains, to your morals, to our public safety and health needs? 

What a regression for our country.  If you think life was better in those good ole cowboy days, please read current history books and not the old distorted ones.

Perhaps Michael Moore was right when he said, the U.S. “was founded on genocide and built on the backs of slaves.” It is way too easy to kill those who look different, given fear and rage.

The Great Divide: America's not-so-civil war

 "Not causing harm requires staying awake. Part of being awake is slowing down enough to notice what we say and do. The more we witness our emotional chain reactions and understand how they work, the easier it is to refrain. It becomes a way of life to stay awake, slow down, and notice."

 Pema Chodron

 

Divisions all around, family member against family member, friend against friend, presidential candidates fighting it out, acting out America’s daily dysfunction all over the globe.   

Does airing our dirty laundry make us proud, or full of humiliation and shame? 

Brain researchers say that conservative brains and liberal brains are different and I believe that must be true.  How they develop in those ways, we aren’t so sure.  

We can argue all day long about our values and our differences regarding a variety of topics: police killings of black and brown boys and men, allowing big money to control our elections, women’s reproductive rights, gun violence, mixing church and state, and income inequality.  All day long, I can talk myself blue in the face about these and other issues.

Would anyone listen?  Those who agree with me would nod and those who disagree would send me hate mail and instructive missives, asking me to come over to their way of thinking.  And, I would not.  We are such determined people, often sure that we are right, and that good and bad, right and wrong are black and white instead of murky gray.

Debating and arguing has its benefits.  We feel passionate and excited, our energy peaks and we jump into the ring time after time, sometimes enjoying the battle, wondering who will become the next American Idol (or President)?  Human beings like to feel connected and engaged with other people, either through loving, kind actions, through debate and controversy, or through reality shows and the news. We bond together against those others.

But, the arguing gets exhausting, and we tire of butting our heads against walls, weary of the rhetoric when there are usually no clear winners or answers, unless someone rules that the contest is over.  Then, the winner is praised, described as the best, while the loser may seem wrong and bad. And, that’s just not usually true.

We all have something to contribute to our world, to our families and our country. Why do we isolate so and look across the aisle with such venom?  Do I need you to agree with me about almost everything and only then can we be friends?  Differences can tie people together or break them apart.

We may be living in America’s 21st Century Civil War, including some of the blood. Now, a tiny few, less than 1%, wins big while the rest lose greatly.

Life is messy, not full of tangible, concrete answers much of the time. Life can be mysterious, uncertain, and confusing, and we hunger for guarantees and solutions whenever possible. We fight tooth and nail searching for certainty.

When a civil war occurs, people often gravitate to their opposite corners, just like in Rocky and Creed, glaring at each other with hate.  After the battle is won and lost, we wonder if we will continue repeating this destructive pattern that turns us all against each other.

Transformation to Equality and Community

"Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment-or unlearning-a fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts." 

 Marianne Williamson

 

How can we be truly equal if we are all so different in various ways: physically, emotionally, educationally; a myriad of races, cultures, genders, religions, spirituality, and more?

How can we be at one with other people with whom we may share some similarities but also find that some of our differences seem to set us widely apart?  If we are all really one, then to what level do we need to rise to find true human equality and sharing? To see each other in community and not only as separate individuals, fearful of each other?

I am quite positive that our history of patriarchy is partly responsible for so much violence in the world.  Maybe if women were in charge, the world would be more peaceful, much safer.  But, we may be moving into an era of not the opposite to patriarchy, meaning matriarchy, but into an era of androgyny, where both masculine and feminine energies intertwine along with all sorts of other energies that may not be defined in such black and white terms. No longer in binary opposition.

Perhaps one way to say this is that we are transforming from a dichotomous and dualistic culture to one that allows for more amalgamated, cooperative and collaborative ways of thinking, feeling and acting.  A culture where no one type (or any sort) is in charge but where we all play notes on the scale sometimes creating dissonance and at other times, lovely harmonies.

Giving up duality and rigid concreteness regarding our perceived informal rules of living and behaving is not an easy task for those of us who have become fully acculturated over time to the ways things are. We see young people thinking and acting very differently than we older people, and the generations often have trouble communicating.  But, what a blessing it can be.  How lovely to see a young person with a radical, new idea that we have never even considered!  Sometimes that freaks us out and sometimes we rejoice. 

We have been defined by gender roles since we were babies.  We have attended educational systems that give grades for what is perceived to be good, average or bad performance. We work at jobs that give us salaries from large to small and everything in between. Our self esteem is often measured by such criteria or by how we look, how much we weigh, how able bodied we are, how privileged we are without having done much of anything to receive that privilege.  How impoverished we may be.  Most of what we see and hear on TV and in most mediums is hierarchical, where one at the top wins, and several or most at the bottom lose. 

The American Dream is all about winning enough for ourselves and our families while many tend to suffer because there seems to be not enough to go around.  We are a culture whose values are too often based on deprivation and despondency about that perception.  Many feel hopeless and helpless when it comes to being able to change their circumstances in life, whether they are focusing on career success, love relationships, or on money and stuff.  And, maybe there really is enough to share if only we would shift our thinking and our actions a tiny bit.

When will we start acting as a community instead of as a solar system of one, myself first and foremost?  When will the common good be as good as the individual good, even though we see reality in unique and often conflictual ways?

The blending of races, religions, and cultures can all simmer together in a tasty gumbo, a stew of delight. But, we also bump up against each other in that bubbling mixture taking on each others’ tastes, textures and smells, not always liking the outcome.  Too hot, too spicy, or too bland and diffuse, not enough separate ingredients seen, or tasted? The vegetables no longer crisp but soggy, mushy. And, if you are so sweet, does that mean I must be sour?

Oh, the excitement of transformation when we fear the unknown, hoping that things can’t possibly get worse, when we know darn well that they can.  Why change anyway?  Better to stay with the old familiar chord, that same ole refrain that we have all memorized, deeply held in our bones.  Let's invite each of us to be more creative and play with all the notes of the scale, not focusing on only 2 or 3, which keeps us limited and trapped somehow.  Or, safe.  At least we know those notes very well and we can rely on them.

This is the way we do it.  We start by talking about the change, writing about it, singing about it and dancing to it, imagining the huge number of combinations that we can dream up, knowing that we have this life to live, these people to live with, and we hope not to have to kill off too many more people before we decide that we can truly accept and/or care about those who are not like us.

Violence is Violence

Whether a hate crime at a gay nightclub, or a legislature creating restrictive policies about women’s reproductive health, violence is violence.  Whether sexual assault or police brutality against brown and black men and boys, violence is violence.

Combine weapons allowing shooters to mow down scores of people in minutes with hate, fear and anxiety along with alcohol and drug use (or not), and we have a perfect storm.  Shooters playing judge and jury against people they do not like, with whom they disagree, or because of some ideological passion.

Violence without physical assault is also pernicious and destructive, like taking rights away from people.  We live in Tennessee, a state that is known for some ignorant bills and laws. Proposed and actual legislation wrenches away from people the ability to make thoughtful decisions about healthcare, privacy, and bathrooms.

Violence occurs while locking up people who can’t afford to pay for traffic and other violations accruing large penalties and interest charges, returning us to the days of paupers’ jails and prisons.

As the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., once said: “The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy… In fact, violence merely increases hate…Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”