Time for White People to Stand Up, Speak Out

The current scene: After 3 months of the COVID 19 pandemic in late May 2020, people having been locked away from each other, peaceful protesters who are angry, fearful, and distressed spill out into the streets, begging police to decrease their brutality. Those on the extremes throw bottles and rocks, starting fires in immigrant, African American-owned and other businesses, police precincts, and Nashville’s city hall. Some destruction and looting occurs. The police respond in some places with rubber bullets, tear gas and arrests. Other police join the protesters.

What is happening in our nation?

Throughout time, peaceful, nonviolent protesters have tried to change American systems that perpetuate injustice and inequality.  Change has not come quickly enough although some changes gradually occur. America and Americans perpetrate racism every day. How can we change this tragedy?

People are publicly grieving and are angry about the senseless numbers of black and brown men, women, and children being murdered by white police. Civilian white men armed with heavy artillery can storm and threaten government buildings without police intervention while at the same time, black people are being murdered while sleeping in their beds, walking, jogging, playing on playgrounds, doing nothing out of the ordinary much of the time.

Today, we are angry and mourning over the recent murder of George Floyd, an African American man murdered by white policemen. People observed and videotaped his last gasps, trying to breathe with a white policeman’s knee on his neck - a physical and symbolic image for how African Americans have been treated by white people for hundreds of years.

Some violent protesters seem to want to start a class war, a culture war, a civil war.  These white supremacists represent a vile part of America which seems to be increasing in numbers, reinforced by our president. This country was founded on genocide and racism with white people taking from, enslaving, and killing all sorts of people, creating rigid hierarchies of power still true today.

Is there any good news?

Not yet. Not until those who have not been heard get heard along with real action to change our systems.  Not yet. Not until our leaders and each American find ways to stem the blood falling all over our streets.  Not yet. Not until black and brown babies, children, adults, and immigrants get treated as if they are white, all people having inalienable rights and privileges for the first time in American history.  

It is time to stand up, speak out, and then change structural and systematic racism that has lasted so many hundreds of years. There is no quick fix but each American white person needs to figure out how we each contribute to this terrible tragedy.  Each of us is complicit and accountable, and we need to make necessary changes.

As Tim Wise, activist and antiracism speaker and writer says, “...when the law becomes lawless, there is no order, and so here we are.” Time for white people and current policing practices to change.

Transformation to Equality and Unity

How can we be truly equal if we are all so different in various ways: physically, emotionally, educationally; a myriad of races, cultures, genders, religions, spirituality, and more?

How can we be at one with other people with whom we may share some similarities but also find that some of our differences seem to set us widely apart?  If we are all really one, then to what level do we need to rise to find true human equality and sharing? To see each other in community and not only as separate individuals, fearful of each other?

I am quite positive that our history of patriarchy is partly responsible for so much violence in the world.  Maybe if women were in charge, the world would be more peaceful, much safer.  But, we may be moving into an era of not the opposite to patriarchy, meaning matriarchy, but into an era of androgyny, where both masculine and feminine energies intertwine along with all sorts of other energies that may not be defined in such black and white terms. No longer in binary opposition.

Perhaps one way to say this is that we are transforming from a dichotomous and dualistic culture to one that allows for more amalgamated, cooperative and collaborative ways of thinking, feeling and acting.  A culture where no one type (or any sort) is in charge but where we all play notes on the scale sometimes creating dissonance and at other times, lovely harmonies.

Giving up duality and rigid concreteness regarding our perceived informal rules of living and behaving is not an easy task for those of us who have become fully acculturated over time to the ways things are. We see young people thinking and acting very differently than we older people, and the generations often have trouble communicating.  But, what a blessing it can be.  How lovely to see a young person with a radical, new idea that we have never even considered!  Sometimes that freaks us out and sometimes we rejoice.

We have been defined by gender roles since we were babies.  We have attended educational systems that give grades for what is perceived to be good, average or bad performance. We work at jobs that give us salaries from large to small and everything in between. Our self esteem is often measured by such criteria or by how we look, how much we weigh, how able bodied we are, how privileged we are without having done much of anything to receive that privilege.  How impoverished we may be.  Most of what we see and hear on TV and in most mediums is hierarchical, where one at the top wins, and several or most at the bottom lose.

The American Dream is all about winning enough for ourselves and our families while many tend to suffer because there seems to be not enough to go around.  We are a culture whose values are too often based on deprivation and despondency about that perception.  Many feel hopeless and helpless when it comes to being able to change their circumstances in life, whether they are focusing on career success, love relationships, or on money and stuff.  And, maybe there really is enough to share if only we would shift our thinking and our actions a tiny bit.

When will we start acting as a community instead of as a solar system of one, myself first and foremost?  When will the common good be as good as the individual good, even though we see reality in unique and often conflictual ways?

The blending of races, religions, and cultures can all simmer together in a tasty gumbo, a stew of delight. But, we also bump up against each other in that bubbling mixture taking on each others’ tastes, textures and smells, not always liking the outcome.  Too hot, too spicy, or too bland and diffuse, not enough separate ingredients seen, or tasted? The vegetables no longer crisp but soggy, mushy. And, if you are so sweet, does that mean I must be sour?

Oh, the excitement of transformation when we fear the unknown, hoping that things can’t possibly get worse, when we know darn well that they can.  Why change anyway?  Better to stay with the old familiar chord, that same ole refrain that we have all memorized, deeply held in our bones.  Let's invite each of us to be more creative and play with all the notes of the scale, not focusing on only 2 or 3, which keeps us limited and trapped somehow.  Or, safe.  At least we know those notes very well and we can rely on them.

This is the way we do it.  We start by talking about the change, writing about it, singing about it and dancing to it, imagining the huge number of combinations that we can dream up, knowing that we have this life to live, these people to live with, and we hope not to have to kill off too many more people before we decide that we can truly accept and/or care about those who are not like us.

Are We Unifiers or Dividers?

It all started on Facebook where I frequently post political articles.  I sometimes give my opinions about these articles.  I have a favored candidate for the presidency which comes through in my Facebook posts.

One day recently a significant storm arose.  On Facebook.  My normally like-minded FB friends began arguing with me and with each other about my FB posts.  We older people hear about friends being ugly to each other on social media, particularly middle school kids, and we have heard about how some kids can be so cruel online.  Because I am a psychotherapist who attempts to help people live their healthiest lives, I believe in compassionate and non-violent communication even when people are their most distressed.

But even I waded into this storm of biting hostility on Facebook, acting in ways opposite to what I believe.

There are so many of us Americans who feel actual terror about this 2020 presidential election, who have been traumatized by the most dangerous president in history, Donald Trump. We have suffered for over 3 years now, observing his daily violence toward our democracy, our constitution, oppressed peoples, and the world. He contradicts the very heart of how this country was established: to get away from monarchs and dictatorial rule, to believe in a government of the people, by the people, for the people.

In our terrorized state, we have often spoken out about Trump and his criminal and idiotic antics and policies.  No regard for human life, caging children, his constant climate change ignorance, his abuse of women, his terrible trade deals, and more.  But, in the past few months now, we Democrats are turning against each other and acting often like we have with those on the other side. Neither of which is compassionate.

I began advocating on Facebook that Bloomberg should not be taken as a serious Democratic candidate for all sorts of reasons.  When a FB friend called me out for criticizing Bloomberg, accusing me of dividing Democrats, I was appalled at first, wondering how I can advocate for my favorite candidate without criticizing those others who have major flaws.

I keep up with the news frequently. I see divisions in our country and hear that we need a unifying presidential candidate.  I wonder what a pipe dream that may be.  One analyst reports that Obama was the great unifier when actually his presidency also prompted some rigid divisions in our country.  Another claims that one candidate is too aggressive, another not aggressive enough, and perhaps we should just let the billionaires wrestle with each other, while they buy our elections.

Everyone I know has been disappointed in life at some point.  Betrayals of many sorts haunt lots of people. This 2020 presidential race is bringing out the worst in our human nature, as we fight for liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And, don’t even get me started on all the Republican senators who continue to support Trump’s tyranny partly because of their fears of not getting re-elected. Thank goodness for Mitt Romney.

Where is our backbone? As long as we are fighting with each other across the aisle and now within our own aisle, how can we imagine any one person can unify us all?  This is a country with a great diversity of people, a wide range of colors, tones and voices, and an even more wide variety of thoughts, beliefs and opinions. 

How can each of us act as unifiers instead of being dividers ourselves, so that we truly listen to each other one by one, really hear what others are saying - instead of being so frightened that even we wear strong blinders hoping to avoid conflict while creating it instead?

Let's Not Fool Ourselves

Perhaps we have been fighting for justice inside a government that has been corrupt for years. Trump is no doubt the icing on the cake when it comes to lawlessness and abuse of power, but corruption was created long ago.

TV analysts fear that we are about to lose our democracy, our republic. Yes, we have. “Democracy” means “a system of government by the whole population or all the eligible members of a state, typically through elected representatives,” or so says my online dictionary. When people are not allowed to vote because of long lines and voter ID laws prevent the poorest from voting, we don’t have a democracy.

A “Republic” means “a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives, and which has an elected or nominated president rather than a monarch.” Our masses don’t hold the power. Only a small subsection of them do.

We may get mesmerized by sound bites and fantastical propaganda depending on our favorite news outlets. Trump was elected by the few, and our current electoral college in its obsolescence allowed not only him but George Bush to become president, instead of the candidates who won the popular vote. Our leaders do not represent all of us.

Thank goodness Congress changed a little in 2018. But, we still have plenty of shouting, blistering Republicans who, when they cannot argue about content, scream about the process of impeachment, disagreeing with our current Constitution’s rules. Our president gets his feelings hurt and attacks people rapidly with his assaults, what a role model for our children.

I believe that our government is an oligarchy, “a small group of people having control of a country, organization, or institution.” Money talks and usually, the more money, the greater the vote. Look how the Democratic National Party supported Hillary Clinton over Bernie Sanders.
Where is fairness and justice? Where is representation of all people? Republicans kowtow to Trump because they want to be elected again and he blackballs disagreers. Some are anxious, alarmed leaders at best.

I implore all people to educate themselves about impeachment, about candidates, and about policies instead of believing the Republican missive that Democrats are doing nothing but fighting Trump in Congress. The Democrats in The House have actually sent hundreds of bills to the Senate while Mitch McConnell sits on them, trying to prove his claim that Democrats are lazy and do nothing.

Let’s not fool ourselves when we see lion’s clothing. Greed and power can corrupt even our best values. The populace votes against its best interests too often, hoping to trust and believe in powerful men who they hope will take care of them with their empty promises, electing the most aggressive among them.

We human beings get fooled far too often by glitz, glamor and guts. That has not worked well for us lately. Let us educate ourselves well during this next year to try to create a real democracy and republic. And, if you really want a dictator, please move to a country that offers such leaders.

Calling for a Revolution of Justice

One of our esteemed Congress members recently tweeted a quotation from Desmond Tutu: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez encourages us all to speak out, particularly when there is so much corruption, dysfunction and sickness in our nation.

The list of current horrors is immense. Our government as a whole supports: torture of children and adults, separation of families, growth of the huge businesses of sex trafficking and private prison corporations that offer big profits while people suffer -  just to name a few. Our President lies on average several times a day and Republican Congress members will not stand up to his poisonous talk and monstrous policies. Climate change is increasingly dangerous, and women are no longer allowed to be in charge of their bodies while trying to protect their current children from harm. 

Racism and violence are encouraged by our president’s use of language, his impulsive, child-like tweets continue to embarrass us all over the world. Many people are afraid to go out in public concerned that some (usually) white young man will spray them with bullets. No safety anymore with weapons of mass destruction at angry, young men’s fingertips. No illusion of safety, either.

We cannot go on this way. We cannot listen to the news on a daily basis because we hear and see so much horror that we lose our balance and our hope. A revolution needs to occur, so that we can begin to tackle so many of these very real tragedies.

People all over our nation, including you and me, continue living with this now chronic terror, this continuous battle of partisan politics and some people’s voting directly against their own needs and interests. Corporate money and foreign countries buy our elections and Jeffrey Epstein’s death suggests that even alleged criminals cannot be protected well enough so that justice is served.

In 2016 we elected as president a horrid example of a human being who is affecting us all by his powerful choices about policies and about those who work for him, including new supreme court justices and figures like William Barr, who acts in direct opposition to how his role is defined.  Barr is just a robot, carrying out Trump’s agenda instead of protecting the masses in this crazy upside down nation. And, no one stops him. How many more Trump employees need to be convicted before Trump is prohibited from more disastrous actions?

We can be complicit or we can work together to take action. If you have no idea about how to begin getting involved in a revolution of justice, please google any number of organizations that need your help. From immigrant rights to white supremacy to health care reform, there are current local, state and national groups trying to combat the criminal behaviors of our government and its people. Please help us. We need you all.

Calming Traffic, a public health and safety hazard

For the past 45 years, I have been amazed at Nashville’s growth. Some love it and some hate it. 

 

Having lived mostly in the Hillsboro/West End/Belmont area of town, I began walking daily with a group of friends 30 years ago. We walked every day except for two in a two year time span, dedicated to each other and enjoying the outdoors. I even married one of my fellow walkers. 

Fast forward to 2019, and although much has stayed the same, much has changed. Friends have come and gone, we have worked hard, and we have aged. Our neighborhood streets are now clogged with traffic, a public health and safety hazard. Recently, some of our former walking group members began walking regularly again. But this time, we risk danger every time we step out onto our street with cars whizzing past, no sidewalks, no bike lanes, no easy ways to make a change to slow down the traffic. 

We have contacted our Metro council member who says that traffic studies have been ordered and conducted during the past few years. We are attending neighborhood meetings so that we can empower ourselves and our elected officials to find and implement solutions. 

This is not just an elitist problem though, unique to our neighborhood. All over Nashville, residents are asking for more assistance, for more sidewalks, bike lanes, stop signs and traffic calmers to create more safety for all of its residents. It breaks my heart to see a mother struggling with her baby carriage walking on a 12 inch wide space on a busy street, risking her and her baby’s lives. I hope that another tragedy does not happen before some necessary changes are made. 

Even when driving, with all the construction and repair happening these days, it is hard to get to where we are going, never knowing which roads will have detours and which roads will be busy near the congested interstate system that fills up like a parking lot in the mornings and by 2 PM every weekday. How people get to work on time amazes me! 

It is time for Nashville to decide if its calling itself an “It” City is true. An “It” City would offer its residents ample spaces to walk, ride bikes and travel whether it is to and from work, or for recreation and tourism. Certainly an “It” City wants its residents healthy. We love our parks and neighborhood centers, but if people can’t get there without high personal risk, they will stay away. 

I do not want to just complain, but to activate and motivate other Nashville residents to consult with those in power, those who will listen to us and not let us get too caught up in bureaucratic red tape without successfully implementing prioritized decisions for our neighborhoods. Please contact your council member and arrange meetings and actions that will bring attention to your needs, Nashville!

What's Love Got to do with it?

I can hear Tina Turner singing, “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” after I watch the news, wondering why there is so much suffering in our world.  The answer is, of course, “Everything.”

If we don’t show love for our fellow human beings and for all living beings for that matter, what do we have?  We have our humanness and the parts of us that get us and the world into conflict: fighting, competition, greed, gluttony, I suppose all the major deadly sins.

We human beings have all sorts of feelings and thoughts which the iChing, sometimes refers to as “inferior.”  I don’t like that term because how we feel and think are just true. Not good or bad, feelings and thoughts are like the weather, coming and going.

We hope to control our actions, at least some of the time. Thoughts and feelings are results of our experience of life, experiences in life.

We human beings walk around this dying planet, having all sorts of experiences, feelings, and thoughts. We try to manage our actions toward peers, authorities and leaders, families and friends,“others,” who are different from us by race, culture, language, politics, and/or religions. Why do some people kill each other in mass shootings with easy-to-obtain weaponry? Why do leaders, like the president, act in rude and disgusting ways? Why do we people neglect and abuse each other, especially those unlike us, those who think differently from us?

These past two years have offered fabulous examples of the “inferior” nature of some of our actions. We divide ourselves into tribes and can hardly stand to talk to those others.  Collaboration, cooperation, and getting things done are second fiddle to winning.  If we don’t agree on our values and beliefs, I am not sure how we find effective methods that might give most of us what most of us want. And, take good care of others.

Many of us grew up as little babies and children in a world that is full of trauma. How we react to trauma is influenced by our personalities, our biologies, and our circumstances, or environment. How our parents, schools, siblings and others have treated us, and we them.  How fairness has played a part in our lives, or not.  How love has been expressed so that when children want to believe their parents love them, how can they understand the torturous actions many parents display through tone of voice, by physical actions and/0r emotional, verbal abuse or neglect?

If we truly love each other, up close and from far away, let’s come together and share without battling.  Let’s negotiate with each other and work toward healthy, productive plans.

Without love, we are nothing. We need to learn how to treat each other with respect, dignity and love even when we disagree.  How? One person at a time.  It all begins with me and with you.